living in the now

Excerpted with permission from a friends blog who also lost a loved one to cancer. Though I've been unable to articulate exactly how I feel, he does it beautifully. Here's the link if you care to read in its entirety.

God did not design cancer. God did not design death. These things are not a part of His plan. God is not pleased to see Ramon’s family, friends and wife of 10 months down here on Earth, grieving the loss of this man to cancer.

While we are here breaking and crumbling, trying to wrap our souls around the loss of Ramon - God’s heart breaks for us too - for His creation. This is why He sent Jesus; to finally, ultimately, defeat sin, death and cancer. Jesus came to bring us new life; He came to bring healing; He came to bring redemption; He came to usher in His kingdom.

Yet, we don’t fully have His kingdom today. Look around, it’s obvious. If you can’t see it - I’ll show you it. Cancer is still here. I am sitting in this - grieving the loss of my brother. While, I also celebrate his life and how God has given Ramon full healing and one day I will get to see my brother again.

It will be glorious.

But in the mean time, my heart breaks.

I look forward to the not yet, but I live in the now.