Small Things, Big Results

Small Things, Big Results
by Leigh Anne & Sean Tuohy


The Oscar-winning film The Blind Side tells the story of the Tuohy family and their adopted son, professional football player Michael Oher. Now, the Tuohys tell their story in the new book In a Heartbeat. This week’s Words of LIFE comes from their book.

If the message you take from our experience is that a rich white family tried to save a black kid, then you will totally miss our story’s meaning. It has nothing to do with where we were from, ow we lived, or how much money we had. It’s not important what color we were, whether we had glasses or didn’t have glasses, what kind of shoes we wore. All of that is irrelevant. Some people have tried to make it relevant – but they emphasize the wrong thing.

It so happened that when we first met him, Michael was a black, sixteen-year-old male. But those words are just adjectives that describe the person we tried to help and ultimately came to love. Making him a part of the family was an unconscious act, and it happened in a heartbeat.
It’s equally true, however, that the outlook on life that allowed us to open our hearts and home to Michael was developed over the course of our lifetimes. If the impulse was sudden, the two of us had been thinking for several years about our philosophy of giving.

One of our deepest beliefs is beautifully captured in the Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, or 2 Corinthians. The seventh verse of the ninth chapter of 2 Corinthians reads: “Each must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” After many years of attending church together, and helping to found one of the fastest-growing congregations in Memphis, Grace Evangelical, we came to believe that a cheerful, spontaneous offering, no matter how small, could be increased and made powerful by God. Our faith helped us understand that it was up to us to be generous and make ourselves available to be used by others.

We also became convinced that in order to really give, we had to get our hearts right. We had to learn that it was important to let go of any particular agenda. What were we hoping to achieve when we gave? We knew that it couldn’t be “We’re looking to go out and help a fourteen-year-old Hispanic boy today.”

So many people we knew wanted to make a difference and yet they waited for a really important cause to come along. Or they waited for their big bonus check to come in. they said to themselves: “I want to save Africa.” Or: “I want to save the American Indian.” They had an agenda. But why is it necessary to have an agenda? Because it relieves our conscience? Or makes us look good to our bosses? Or makes us feel good about ourselves? Because it makes us more appealing to the congregation? Or gives us more points on our Visa card? Or means the United Way is going to give us a plaque?

The more we thought about the nature of true charity, the more we realized there’s a paradox in Americans’ general attitude toward giving: as a citizenry we are at once charitable and stingy. According to the National Philanthropic Trust, 89 percent of American households give to charity. Sounds impressive, but think about this: on average, we donate just 1.9 percent of our household income. To be frank, that’s miserly. Especially considering how enriched some of us are, that percentage is well below what it should be. And by biblical standards – as most Christians would undoubtedly agree – it’s downright shameful.

As we reflected on our ways of giving, we came to see that we often approached charity too formally. Giving shouldn’t always be a prescribed ritual or ceremony: it doesn’t need to be accompanied by properly stamped paperwork. If we worried less about the procedures and methods of giving and concentrated more on a giving state of mind, we might have more to offer than we know.

It pained us to realize that we too often failed at the simplest kind of giving. While we were waiting for a great cause, or focused on an agenda, we chose not to notice someone standing right in front of us. We looked right past the woman in the grocery store taking things out of her basket because she was short on cash or the elderly disabled man in line at CVS.

Ultimately, we agreed that by embracing a smaller and more cheerful kind of giving, we might ease a lot of everyday problems. It took several years but slowly, informally, we found ourselves arriving at a simple conclusion: it wasn’t important to do something great.
Instead, we decided to take this approach: do small things with great love. If we could do that, little opportunities to give might grow beyond our wildest dreams.


Excerpted from the book IN A HEARTBEAT: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving by Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy, published this month by Henry Holt and Company, LLC. Copyright (c) 2010 Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy. All rights reserved.

One Moment in Time

I realized something about myself today. Something I've grappled with for a while, but this morning it hit home in a big way. I realized I haven't been living. Truly living. Enjoying each day for what it brings and treating the s0-called mundane as an adventure.

For example, my friends know I hate coming back from a trip not knowing when my next one will be. Why? Because I love the very idea of travel. Of seeing new places, experiencing new adventures, trying new food (well, maybe not so much this one), and knowing I have just expanded my view of the world. Everything does not revolve around Southern California, and as much as I love living here, there is so much more to see and do. Here is where the realization comes in. I'm always looking to the future. It's always, what's happening tomorrow or next month or in six months. I plan ahead by nature, but what happened to today? Where did right now go? I missed it because I'm looking ahead.

I believe in the perfect moment. When every sense is heightened and you experience that moment to its fullest potential. When time seems to stop, and you could almost live in that moment. Yet somewhere in the past few years I lost this. I forgot to appreciate the beauty of a rainy day or of giant white clouds in the sky or a gentle breeze skipping leaves along the ground.

So, this is my mid-year resolution. To appreciate each day, each moment for what it brings. For...

Each day I live

I want to be

A day to give

The best of me

I'm only one

But not alone

My finest day

Is yet unknown

Give me one moment in time

When I'm more than I thought I could be

When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away

And the answers are all up to me

Give me one moment in time

When I'm racing with destiny

Then in that one moment of time

I will feel

I will feel eternity

Vegas 2010

Last week a friend and I spent four days in Las Vegas. Ever since I first laid eyes on the Bellagio I knew I wanted to stay there one day. Happily, 2010 was the magic year, and it was every bit as wonderful as I hoped.

Lakeside Deluxe Room - talk about a view

Is this really Vegas?
A little pool time - lovin this place

Fountain in the middle of pool number 6. Beautiful view but the water was freezing.

Fountain show at dusk.

Part Two

9/11 Memorial at the Pentagon

Washington D.C. Photoblog

This one is for my grandpa. Anchor's Away!

The big house itself.

How to get lost on the way to the Smithsonian

No trip for the El Toro project would be complete without it's adventures...here's one:

I must begin by saying that I am not typically directionally challenged. Now I admit I can't tell you the points on the compass with the snap of a finger but I am fairly map savvy and can find my way around a new location in fairly short order. I don't what happened on American Airlines but somehow my sense of direction all but left.

The day before my interview with the general Janet and I did a dry run so I'd know what Metro to take, where the museum was in relation Metro station, and how to enter the building. Everything seemed simple enough, however day of I accidentally got on what I thought was the wrong Metro and spent twenty to thirty minutes righting my little mistake. Two transfers and one helpful patron later I was back on track only to discover that night the blue line also went to the Smithsonian. Clearly, I was not using my head and panicked just a little. Anyway, back to the story. By the time I got off at L’Effant Plaza I only had thirty minutes to spare and was a little lost. Because my map wasn’t entirely to scale and National Mall landmarks were not visible from my position (how in the world can a building hide the Washingtom Monument!!) I asked six different people how to get to the Air and Space Museum. Not one of them knew where it was! Fortunately, I found a family who looked like tourists, and they were headed in what I thought was the general direction of the Mall. I decided to follow them and after about two blocks was back in familiar territory. Of course, it was ninety something degrees with very high humidity, and I felt like one giant sweat ball! Thank God for air conditioning.

Conclusion #1: Parisans know their city better than District of Columbinans and are much friendlier.

Conclusion #2: It pays to know the city map also as a diagram of the Metro system. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was on the other side...semi inside out, but on the back nonetheless.

Arlington Ladies

Touching.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37416579/ns/us_news-life//

Two Days

Airplane time! On Tuesday I depart for our nations capital for a work related trip. Although much of our time will be spent indoors, my co-worker and I definitely plan on putting in some touristy time, including a nighttime monument tour. Can't wait!


Misc information about the trip:

1) Attending the Marine Corps Aviation Reconnaissance Association Reunion for the purprose of conducting oral history interviews with marines stationed at MCAS El Toro and put in face time for the project.
2) Interviewing a 4-star retired general (my first!) and current director of the National Air And Space Museum.
3) Interviewing aforementioned general at the National Air and Space Museum. Am I nervous? Nah! (don't believe a word of that)
4) Returning 10:30 Friday night so I'm back in SoCal for Seth's graduation. I will be awake on Saturday.
5) I made a point to watch Breach, All the President's Men, and the National Memorial Day Concert to ensure I'm in the D.C. mood by the time we land at Regean International.

Lemony Sniket: A Series of Unfortunate Events

I’ve been trying to come up with a witty subject for this post, but since this title keeps coming to mind I decided to use it. Fortunately, it is perfectly appropriate. Let me begin by saying all worked out but the past two days have definitely been full of little unfortunate events. Shall we begin?

Thursday night: As I mentioned in my previous post us public history chicks were L.A. bound to see South Pacific. The initial plan was to meet on campus for a 4:30 departure. That would give us plenty of time to battle rush hour traffic, enjoy a leisurely dinner at CPK, and arrive well before the 8:00 show. Perfect plan, right? Wrong! As fate would have it Amanda had a job interview…in Santa Barbara…and at 4:30 was still in Long Beach. That’s a long way from Fullerton when one is moving at a snail’s pace. Nothing to panic about…yet. Five o’clock comes. Bethany arrives. Since Amanda hasn’t even crossed the Orange County border we quickly realize we will seriously be cutting it close if we plan on eating in L.A. A solution quickly presents itself. Instead of CPK, we’ll have ourselves a little picnic in the car. Bethany and head to Subway to buy a car friendly dinner and time ticks slowly by. Five forty-five. Six. Six fifteen. By now I am seriously thinking there is no way we will make it by 8:00 and the planner in me strongly dislikes the idea of arriving late. However, as Bethany kept reminding me, it was all about being together, and we should enjoy the adventure. Well, I’m happy to report Amanda arrived at 6:30, and miracle of miracles we arrived at the Ahmanson in ONE HOUR! I’ve been driving to L.A. for years and could probably count on one hand the number of times I made such good time. And that includes me taking us on a slight detour, aka, we might have gotten a little lost. But thanks to good ole Miss GPS we were back on track and arrived with time to spare.

Three and a half hours and one terrific show later we are now leaving the parking garage. Mind you, we made took this same route in February and had no trouble finding the freeway. Not so this time. All I wanted was the 101. The only signs around were for the 110. After heading the wrong direction and battling one way streets we finally found a freeway. A freeway going north not south. However, I didn’t have much choice in the matter because the street dead ended on the freeway. To top it off construction crews are out in force, and three lanes are closed. Will this never end! It took a while but after going through three tunnels and missing a couple of awkwardly coned off exits that turned out to indicate a path off the freeway we managed to exit and get on the 110 south. I was never so happy to see Exposition in my life.

Oh, South Pacific was totally worth it. Good thing!

Up next: My latest adventure in dog sitting…

Girlz Nite!

Tomorrow night Bethany, Amanda, and I take L.A. by storm! We're celebrating Amanda's graduation (masters!!) and bidding Bethany farewell as she leaves for her prestigious internship at the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Fun times await...

Lynn Redgrave 1943-2010

I so wish I had seen her in Nightingale. She fought a good fight. Rest in peace.

I haven't blogged in a while. I've been extremely busy yet feel like I have nothing of consequence to report. Tonight I'm doing something I haven't done in ages...watching a television show as it airs! Shocking I know. Hulu is my usual television buddy but tonight tonight. 24 ends in 3 weeks. Here's hoping my favorite TV president decides to come to her senses before it's over.

One way streets are so over-rated

Picture it. Riverside. 2010.* A trio of ladies made their way to Riverside, California, to see my best friend in Pirates of Penzance. The exact details of the drive are irrelevant except to say google's directions were completely misguided, and we might have gotten a little lost...the performance itself was extremely enjoyable, and afterwards we made our way down the hill, to the car, and began what I thought was going to be a relatively easy task of getting to the freeway. Not! Might I remind the reader, there were three of us in the car, and we could not for the life of us figure out how in the world to exit the premises of Riverside City College. Not only was the signage nonexistent, but various parts of the campus were under construction making our departure even more challenging. Suffice it to say I made one or two wrong turns, and the only way to get out...wait for it...was to drive the wrong way on a one way street! I've never done that in my life! Considering it was a single lane road, it's a good thing no one was coming toward me because I had no where to go. So I kind of, sort of broke the law on a college campus, with witnesses, but at least I can say we found the freeway...in fairly short order.

*Reference to The Golden Girls. Sophia anyone?!

For all the tea in China

My dear friend Antoinette gave me a tea party in honor of my 27 years of life. It was a lovely afternoon of delicious food, delightful company, and memories to last a lifetime. Here are some photos from this lovely afternoon.

My best friend & I in our classic pose

These gorgeous flowers served as the perfect centerpiece

My place setting

Delectible favors: homemade marmalade and lemon curd

(courtesy of B.J.)

Rite of Spring

Amazing but true

One year ago today I saw my first glimpse of Venice. My how time flies.

Lady Liberty Video

I'm not sure why the ending remarks were cut off. :-/

Columbia Part 3

Columbia part 2